I'm So Much Cooler Online
by RenaBug1
Summary: Edward is a smooth talker online.  In reality, he weighs 250 pounds, is a sci-fi fanatic, a mild asthmatic, works at the Pizza Pit, and has a massive crush on Bella.  Will Bella still love him even though he isn't perfect?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but I'm grateful to Stephenie Meyer for her dream/vision.**

**Each chapter of this story will be around 500 words. If you don't want to review each chapter, I'm fine with that. =) But you may have to wait a bit to find out the answers to some of your questions.**

**Edward POV**

I rolled over in bed and stared bleary-eyed at the clock. It's a good thing I received this one with the large-number display last Christmas, or I wouldn't be able to see the time without my glasses. Princess, Mom's white West Highland terrier, snuggled beside me and gave me a tentative lick on my chin. I shoved myself off the mattress and head into my bathroom to start getting ready for the day.

After my shower, I shaved, not that any girl would notice. I tried to avoid looking too critically at my towel-clad body in the mirror. I was tall – that was one good thing about me. I suppose my face was ok as well – at least that's what Mom told me. But my weight overshadowed that. I weighed about 250 pounds. I dressed in a shapeless hoodie and jeans – whatever covered up the serious meat I was packing.

Princess yawned from her perch on my bed and wagged her stubby tail as I gave a gentle right hook to my stand-up life-size Darth Vader cardboard cutout. "Let's go upstairs, girl, and see what Mom made us for breakfast." At that, she jumped off the bed and beat me up the stairs – again.

I wasn't good with real-life girls – I've never even been to second base – but online, I was a master of seduction. I pretended to be an even smoother version of my older brother, Emmett, who was an actor living in Hollywood. After a quick Photoshop of my face sans glasses on his well-muscled body in a low-level lighting situation, I looked like a Greek god. It probably influenced the MySpace screen name – _Greeneyedgod._

My parents weren't aware I was sweet-talking the ladies while I was on my computer in my room. They thought I was playing one of my many sci-fi games. I did that as well. As a chunky guy, I didn't get invited to many social functions, so online chatting was harmless and girls seemed to like the fact I was a man of mystery.

I had a couple college business classes today before going to my shift at the Pizza Pit. I was going to be a doctor like Dad, but nearly fainting in biology lab nixed that career choice for me. I folded myself into my old Hyundai, took a hit from my asthma inhaler being a mild asthmatic, and headed out.

Bella Swan, the prettiest girl in the state of Washington, was in both today's classes. I situated myself near the back of the room. Jacob Black and his body-building brainless jocks buzzed around her like she was the prize winner at the flower show. All I knew was that I wanted to punch him in those incisors he kept flashing her. He must use those whitening strips religiously.

I hadn't "friended" Bella on MySpace. She knew me who I was and would call me out with my fake account. As if she knew I was thinking of her, she turned and gave me a shy smile. My mouth hung open in stunned silence.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but I'm grateful to Stephenie Meyer for her dream/vision.**

**A pox on me for not eternally thanking my pre-readers, adaywithjake & maizenbluegurl, in my last chapter. You girls are the bomb and keep me on track.**

**Lastly, if there is a _Greeneyedgod_ on MySpace, it's not me nor anyone connected with me or this story.**

Yeah, I'm not so smooth with the ladies in real life, as evidenced. I took my time getting to my next class, which was across campus. While I walked, I ate some blueberry muffins my mom made. I didn't want to walk too close to Bella and seem like some sort of creepy stalker.

The Swan family moved to Seattle when Bella and I were in junior high. We never hung out in the same circles even though we went to the same schools. I joined the football team in high school so I could protect my quarterback brother. Bella was on the cheerleading squad. We were forced together at some events but we never managed more than shy smiles and a brief "hello." That was most likely due to Mr. Sparkling Teeth hanging around her constantly. The coach asked me to stay on the team as I was one of his better players and kept up my grades.

Jacob wasn't in our other class and Bella sat next to Angela, a bookish girl with who she was good friends. Seeing their dark heads together, comparing notes, gave me ample fodder for daydreaming about a three-way conversation with two beautiful women – especially if one of them was Bella. Another thought came quickly on the heels of those, quickly stomping out any embers of longing. There was no way I would share Bella with another. If I was ever privileged enough to chat with her, it would be just the two of us.

Later at work, I was in my zone, making yummy pizzas and keeping to myself. Our boss thought it was a great idea to have everyone cross-train to the various jobs in the restaurant so we could cover each other if needed.

We had a rush right around dinnertime – as usual – and I barely had a chance to look up from placing toppings on pizzas. Something – a laugh? – made me look up and I saw Bella talking to the cashier. I didn't even know she came to this restaurant! _Does she know I work here? Am I blushing?_ I could feel my face heat up at the thought. I was sure I was blushing now. I'd have to blame it on the heat from the ovens. Could I stick my head in one of the ovens for emphasis?

I watched furtively out of the corner of my eye as the cashier handed Bella two large pizza boxes and then she was gone. I wasn't normally in the habit of checking names on the order receipts, but I casually glanced through them until I found the one with "Swan" listed at the top. Two large combinations; one with mushrooms, one without – now the question was – did she like mushrooms or not?

It was time to go home, eat a great Mom-cooked dinner, and see what kind of trouble _Greeneyedgod_ could get into. Knowing my track record, it could be a lot before I fell into bed that night.


End file.
